MIL VS DIL

Yes this is going to be a rant post. I think the above LOL message tells it all. No I am not ranting about my husband, in fact no one is perfect since I choosen this guy to spend my life with I shall live to my decision and make the best out of it. But for mother in laws I didn't have a chance to choose mine. I guess for now most of you knows that I use to live alone with Hubby, many of my colleagues were surprised and did not understand why I give up all the freedom in the world to live with his folks. Well I shall not harp on the long past topic.

My MIL isn't exactly the difficult type. In fact she is very good with PR and most of the aunties in my neighbourhood likes her. We did not have much conflict for household chores too because
1) I requested to hubby a helper is a must for the old folks to shift in with us as I do not think I would have the strength to settle the household chores after back from work. I do not want him to be the ham between the sandwich so for the interest for the family Hubby agreed as well.

2) My culinary skills is not as good as her hence I no longer cook at home except times when she is out of town, as I cannot stand being criticise messing up my own kitchen. Hence since culinary is her forte, I shall give up my little corner to her.

So after all these examples why do I still need a rant post ? Yes I am a human afterall and I do not want my ham (hubby) to listen to anymore of my ranting hence I choose to let you suffer. Please leave if you think this update is boring.

Basically our conflict sets in with my son. My mother in law has her own way of bringing up children. I am not saying she is wrong, not exactly but however she never give me any evidence based of certain things which I think is unnecessary. Yes being a medical professional, evidence is the key note for me at least some reasoning. Some examples:

1) She never allows me to feed my boy Yakult/Vitagen as she says they will cause cough since it happen to her grandson (dg's son) and he developed whooping cough from it. I always frown when she repeat this reasoning , so you are trying to tell me probiotics causes whooping cough ? Perhaps its just an unfortunate encounter but I don't think it is valid enough to deprive my son from probiotics. So eventually I seek alternative to compensate his lost of probiotics.

2) Just now I went down and picked my son up from school. She reminded me to bring an umbrella downstairs as the noon sun is scorching hot and reasoning: he just came down from an air con bus and might get sick from the change of environment. I think this sounds fair enough hence I brought 2 umbrellas down , one for the boy, one for me. Came home told her hubby bought an umbrella for the boy the other day and she can let him have it when she pick him up tomorrow. She frowned and replied usually I wouldn't allow him to walk home as the ground is very hot , might fall sick, so I will make the helper carry him home. Ok tell me the reason pls ?

3) She would always repeat whenever I feed him , yes always repeat the way of feeding him , I am his mother, wouldn't I know how to feed my own son since I have been a mother for 3 years ? I felt irritated but I just choose to shut her out and they would always intervene the way I discipline/feed/play with him. Yes very much wanted to tell them the above message as different children require different way of interacting with them. Its not necessary your grandchildren behave this way my boy follow suits. Oh the non evidence base example here is they told me cannot let children cry at night. I only come home in the evening, so tell me only can discipline on weekends ?

4) I took study leave to study at home. Yes the different treatment between your own mother and mother in law. I can't drop everything at hand, she will ask my son wake me up to bring him downstairs for school, make me go fetch him back, shower/feed him, coax him to sleep, and I guess she doesn't really understand what is study leave for. What is she doing ? Watching tv all this while.

So when people comment how lucky am I to have a MIL and helper to help out, I just smile. Even my boss doesn't understand and wonders why do I need study leave to study ? When I post some unhappy status on fb, I get people commenting I thought you always say your mil is good ? Well I don't deny the fact that she is good but I am a human afterall. I need rant days so please do some intelligence commenting alright ? No doubt I get the luxury of not rushing to pick him from CC and sending him there daily, but come to think of it, I had my sacrifices along the way. I just kept reminding myself to smile :) So as not to put stress to my heart and life.

Ok enough said, I guess I should be more appreciative since you can't have all the good things in life without making sacrifices. :)

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. "~Confucius

Labels: mother in law

5/09/2012 03:42:00 PM ·